Saturday, 15 May 2010

Shoot me. Please just shoot me now!

In a few days time, I will be 32 weeks pregnant. This has always seemed as quite a milestone, because its not 'just gone 30 weeks' and it also means that there is just 2 months till my baby is due. 32 weeks. 32. How the hell have i managed to 'live' pregnant for 32 weeks!?

All the books say how pregnancy is a magical time, and how that during the middle section, that you will bloom and blossom into this amazing pregnant goddess. So, why is it, that I wake up every day, having lost 2 hours sleep just going to the toilet multiple times?! And that just getting off the sofa to go and have a shower is hard work? Im exhausted. Throughly, utterly, exhausted. And keep feeling so, even though my new standard bedtime is between 9pm and 9.30.

Personal appearance has completely taken the back burner in my life at the moment. But at least I have the excuse of SPD to get away with staying in my nighty until dinnertime! After all, I am practically housebound...

Having a toddler isn't easy at the best of times. But the terrible twos in late pregnancy... thats just a whole new level of crazy! I sometimes wake up and think that I must be absolutely mental to have another baby, when Erica takes up so much of my time, but I wouldn't like her to be left out of all the benfits having a sibling can offer. So, whilst at the moment, and probably for the next few years, I feel like a walking zombie, thats only good for providing food and then cleaning up the mess the food makes, I know that in the long run it will be worth it. I've never experienced anything so rewarding as having Erica, even though I actually feel like I could lock her in a cage sometimes! And im sure that I will feel exactly the same about the new arrival.

I always check on Erica, before I go to bed. Check that shes asleep and tucked up, so she doesn't get cold. And its times like that, when shes quiet and peaceful, that I really realise how lucky I am (not that I dont any other time!!), and how wonderful and amazing she makes my life. And how, no matter how difficult it can be sometimes, I wouldn't change it for the world.

However, ask me if I feel the same in the midst of a screaming hissy fit, and I can not say that I would say the same thing!

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